All-You-Can-Eat Buffets – Appropriate for 6 Types of People…

In Diabetes Education class, I like to give an example relating to alligators.


I ask them to envision a world where 70% of of females are dying of alligator bites. If this were true…

  • Would it make sense that I show women pictures of alligators?
  • Would it make sense that I show them a map of the USA and highlight the areas where alligators are likely to live?
  • Would it make sense that I ask them not to take vacation there, even though their friends might be asking them to go?

I think that’s very easy for people to understand. Almost all my patients agree with me that these things make sense.

But, I like to do something called the switcheroo.

I tell the class, “That’s good that you agree because 70% of diabetics are dying of heart disease and stroke. So, I’m going to show you what that ‘alligator’ looks like and where the ‘swamps’ are located. Ready to get started?”

Well, they can’t disagree with themselves. I trapped them. Now, they’re ready to learn.

Let’s talk about something I like to call the ‘swamp.’

Eating Out

In today’s world, where nutrition is less and less important in the attempt to make a profit, it’s hard to find a restaurant to support your healthy eating habits. You can do it, but it’s significantly harder. And, it might be more expensive. Tough cookies. I think it’s the price you pay for choosing to eat away from home.

One classic mistake is going to a buffet. Whether it’s a Chinese buffet, KFC buffet, Pizza buffet, or Homestyle Buffet – I would have to say this is a “never appropriate” type of thing. But, then I got to thinking about it …and I think I was wrong. All-you-can-eat buffets are appropriate for some people.

6 Types of people that SHOULD visit an all-you-can-eat buffet

  1. Packs of Teenage Boys – These types of predators like to travel together. Be warned! Their appetite can be voracious. Due to their growth season, these creatures might need up to 3000-5000 calories per day. This can be very expensive to provide for, so it might be okay if they visit a buffet together.
  2. Underweight Individuals – Some people have really had a hard time in life; and no matter what they do, they just can’t seem to put on the weight. They might have issues with their health that prevent them from storing energy and high fat foods in plentious amounts are just what the doctor ordered. These people belong at a buffet.
  3. Homeless Eaters – While some of the humans on the streets like to consume their calories in alcohol, others may fall into the category of “eaters.” If it’s been a long time between meals, a buffet is the best buy for your money.
  4. Sumo-Wrestlers – Watch your step around these creatures. If they decide to sit down, they might not see you in time! Excess weight and mass is a MUST for these animals. It’s not easy to keep up a big heavy body like that; but fortunately, they can put in some hard work for less money at an all you can eat buffet.
  5. Eating Competitors – Any one making a living out of eating competitions might call the buffet their “home away from home.” Where else can you get 50 servings of one type of food? If you’re trying to train for an eating competition – this is a really good spot to practice.
  6. The Extreme Runner – I will include those animals that love to run miles upon miles… just to come back to the place that they started. These extreme runners burn up to 2000-4000 calories in one marathon race. While they may be engaging in questionable behavior (running in circles), they are a loveable bunch of eaters that MAY consume food at a buffet as well.

Well, there you go. It’s a strange group, but this is what I want to see when I walk into an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Now, for the rest of yous…

If you’re not trying to gain weight for less money, do not attend an ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT BUFFET. It’s not a smart choice.

EVERYONE overeats there.

Stay out of the swamp, peeps. It’s for your own good.

*Special prayers go out to marathon runners everywhere. Yesterday was tough, but these are the moments that make us stronger.

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